Fathers Day Dad Jokes

With Fathers Day on Sunday, here are some of the best Dad Joke’s we could find!

What time do you go to the dentist… tooth hurty

A string walks into a bar. Bartender says “we don’t serve your kind here.” String goes outside, ties himself up, messes up his hair a bit, and goes back in. Bartender’s all: hey, aren’t you the string that I just threw outta here? “Nope. I’m a frayed knot.”

What’s brown and sticky? A StickWhat do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A Stick

“Do you want a box for your food?” No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.

A piece of sushi is hanging out in the park when a little bee flies by. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee

*driving by a pasture with lots of cows*

“Look a flock of cow!”

“Its ‘herd’ of cow”

“Heard of cow? Of course I have, theres a whole flock of em right there!”

I know this isn’t a very good cow joke, but I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth.

Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers

Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? A father in law

Why don’t blind people go skydiving? It scares the dog.

I know loads of jokes about cash machines, I just can’t think of one ATM.

Hear about that kidnapping? He woke up.

Corny jokes? I’m all ears…

My wife told me I couldn’t be a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

How do you make a Kleenex dance…you put a little boogie in it

What did the buffalo say to his son when he went off to school?…”BISON!”


Q: What’s the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?

A: You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.

“What about the pot of glue?”

I knew you’d get stuck there.


Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on the sides? So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

I bought some shoes from my drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

“My first time on an elevator was quite uplifting…The second time was a let down”

Dogs cant do MRI, but CATSCAN… lol

Queso…this cheese walks into a bar

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand and says, “make me one with everything”

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer…I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

When you ask your Dad if he’s alright and he responds “No, I’m half left”

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